Humbling

So along with my last post, I'm trying to work on me and become better. I'm trying to stay out of things I shouldn't be involved in, even though it means I can't be the kind of friend people think I should. This has not been an easy feat.

This past week has been crazy, difficult, etc. Towards the end of the week there was something that could have de-railed me from what I am working on, so I did what I could with it and moved on. Because of my choice I was challenged with what type of a person I am and was given a guilt trip of manipulation. I didn't appreciate that, I was doing my best to stay out of things I shouldn't be involved with, and I was criticized for it.

I didn't handle that well, had my little break down and later asked Evan for a priesthood blessing. I wasn't surprised by what I was instructed. I was told that my Heavenly Father loves me and that I shouldn't stress or worry over the trivial things that don't matter and that I should love all. Pray to love my neighbors, friends, family, extended family, everybody.

This is a good reminder and instruction. Evan and I have been trying to work on praying for those who are rude and just not kind to us. I guess this means I need to step up what I am doing and really strive to love more. I know by following this council I will be better able to handle difficult situations and not get so emotional or affected by the choices of others.

I used to think that showing love meant coming to the rescue, solving issues etc. But I think it shows more love to let people fall and let them lean on our Heavenly Father rather than taking the easy way out. I am so glad I have Evan to lean on and work as a partner with him. He is such a great example of love. He is my absolute best friend.

So, if you have good ways of how to love more, I would love it. Scriptures, experiences, guidelines, etc.

I saw this and loved it:

Matthew 22:36-40

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt ^alove the Lord thy God with all thy ^bheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy ^cmind.

38 This is the first and great ^acommandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt ^alove thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the ^alaw and the prophets.

36

On a different note, Peter and Lucy are growing up so quickly...here's a sneak peak:)

Fighting the Battle

I'm pretty sure I am in a battle with my kitchen and dishes. I don't know what it is, but if I don't get that initial load done in the morning, the rest of the day is shot. I just watch the pile grow taller and taller and taller. As if I didn't already think the handful of dishes seemed overbearing I just let the pile grow taller and taller and taller until it is sometimes 4 days later. Seriously, why have I not invested in more paper plates by now!

So, when I get to talk to uplifting people like my sisters, they give me hope, that maybe, just maybe I can get my dishes done. Easy right, open dishwasher, unload, load, repeat. And if I get those done then I could probably wash the counters, sweep the floors, vacuum, pick up toys, pay bills, make phone calls, return emails, shower-I know right, shower, what a concept-check the mail and maybe even get dressed by the time Evan gets home. Sometimes their motivation works. Sometimes I decide it's better to give the dishes some alone time and leave the house. Costco, the park and other fun things seem WAY more urgent than the dishes.

I think that I get so overwhelmed sometimes, because I feel people's eyes, words and judgements on me. When did I become THAT person, that cared what others thought. I know right, letting people's words, manipulations, judgements get to me. Well, I was wrong to let family, friends, strangers and my own insecurities get to me. How could I have let my guard down. I have a husband and two children who need me to be me, rather than the Hilary that is the people pleaser.

So, since August 2011, I cut a few people, unnecessary responsibilities, etc out of my life. It wasn't overnight, I am still working on it, it's a process. But I wanted to come up and out of the clutter of judgements, instructions, guilt trips manipulations, etc and become myself again. Surround myself with uplifting people and circumstances. I quite like myself and want my children and husband to live with the real me, instead of the trying to make everyone, in-laws, people I don't know, acquaintances, etc happy. It's a hard choice to decide yourself and family over anything else, but it just has to be.

Most of the accomplished, happy, successful people I know are where they are because they put their priorities in order, walked hand in hand with the Lord and didn't let Satan discourage them with trivial things which seem huge or become huge. So I am taking my life back. No one else can have it.

Baby steps, right? So, I'm starting the rebuilding process. Little by little I will regain who I am and become more of who I should be. I'm excited, and while it will be hard to cut lots of blur out of my life, it will be worth it to keep on the path Heavenly Father wants for me and my family:)

So, I continue to work on me. It feels great! No, I won't fit the mold of where people think I should be, but that's ok. I am on this journey, I am not on the journey with the peanut gallery. This is a process. I strongly believe in the idea that time heals all things, and works things out how they should. And since everything is in the Lord's timing, I better make sure I am keeping in line with my Heavenly Father so that this can be easier than it is harder.

Wow...it's been a few months since I posted:)

(I want to recover that BRATS cover..on the project list:))

So, It's been a few months since I posted..guess I should start up again:)

Lots going on. I work 40+ hours a week watching the cutest little boy whom Lucy and Peter absolutely adore and can't get enough of. They ask for him on weekends, sometimes search for him in the house:)

Lucy and Peter are both in therapy which is INCREDIBLE and free AND they come to our house once a week. Lucy is getting help with speech since she is delayed from her millions of ear infections. Peter got out of feeding therapy and into gross motor skill therapy. Because he was in the NICU so long and in the hospitals for evaluations and surgeries, he has been delayed in some core muscle training etc. So he is 18 months and still not walking. BUT the therapist has taught him(along with a big lesson and practice from Evan) to go up and down the stairs. He climbs onto couches, tables, you name it. He just doesn't want to stand on his own or walk yet.

Lucy is potty training-sort of. Every time we go to try it sickness happens and it is delayed. But she is slowly running out of diapers and I don't want to buy her more. She sings ALL of the time, says please and thank you, HUGS the best hugs, is a cute little mommy, and is just everything I could ask for and more. (oh and on a side note, she grew out of her apple allergy after 2 years!) YAY!

Peter is mr. exploratory boy right now. He wants to try and to know about EVERYTHING!!! He is one of the best cuddlers I know. He loves to love and is very sensitive as well. We are going for his year post op appointments this month..I think things are good. Peter loves to push trucks around and if he could escape outside he would. He misses daddy during the day, I think he is ready for summer break with daddy at home:) Peter is just the perfect little boy for me.

Evan is the best Husband a gal could have! He is so sweet, he puts up with me, loves me, sacrifices for me. He is loved by so many, and it is touching to hear from people how he has touched their lives. He makes me a better person, and I am glad he is my best friend.

I have been slowing down-In a good way. I am not participating in everything offered and don't feel bad about it either. Before I felt like I was slacking on most everything, and now I know that focusing on what's important and crucial to my family is most important. There is still so much that I need and want to do, but I like taking it slower.

Life is good. I love my family. I love Heavenly Father and all that he is helping me with and teaching me.

a fun morning project..back in the game

So Evan had found a can of oops paint that I used on Lucy's shelves, and since there was leftover I decided to paint a free coat rack(for the wall) that I could use for my jewelry I purchased this year:)

The project probably cost $0.35 to do.

I hung it over my dresser that just happens to be the same color, or very similar. I bought it from a vintage thrift shop:)

Dear Lucy, Sept 9, 2011

Dear Lucy,

I haven't journaled about you in a while and I feel bad about that because you keep doing so many sweet and funny things, sprinkled with a little naughty. For the most part you have been learning lots and growing up. Growing up makes me sad but I am happy you are learning lots.

You have had so many ear infections in the last year that we were able to contact someone about Speech Therapy since your ears have delayed you in speech. Mindy is the sweetest therapy and you love her so much. Every time she comes you run to the door, smile, hug and bring her in to start playing. She is teaching you lots and I love seeing you learn and practice.

Ever since we started watching TJ you think you have another brother. Sometimes on the weekends and nights you get sad when you can't find him. You call him Baby or T. You hug, kiss(like a fish), sit next to, lay next to, try to pick up, help with with pacifiers and bottles and wiping his mouth. You are like a cute second mommy for him.

Peter is your absolute best friend in the world!!! Besides the clobbering him from behind, jumping on him, smothering his face in the ground, you love on him ALL the time. I hope you stay best friends. You two love to play together. You always bring him treats and snacks and make sure he has what he needs or doesn't know that he needs. You kiss him, hug him, and like to hold his hand.

You like cuddling mommy and daddy a lot more lately. You always help make dinner and think popcorn is the best thing EVER! I think your best girlfriend right now is Sadie. She is fun and you like to hug her and say her name.

You have been letting me brush and style your hair. That makes me happy. Shoes, baths, outside, yogurt, cheese and saying please with your hand make up almost every day.

You are the cutest little swimmer. With your floaties on you swim all over the pool including the
deep end. You love to jump in and you like to swim by yourself without any help.

We love you very much and am so happy your are ours!

Love,
mom & dad

Lucy and Peter cook and rats nests

Evan went off to see the Phillies and Rockies face off so Lucy, Peter and I had lots of fun!

We cuddled in bed

Drank lots of water like usual(Peter had cold milk-I'm trying to trick him so he'll give up the bottle)

Lucy was super hungry so she ate one of her favorite veggies-she tried it with ranch for the 1st time


They both saw steam coming up and watched it

Then Lucy blew it

Then she wanted to stir it

Then she wanted to eat it



then eat it in my chair, and eat my left over lasagna, and eat Peter's food
and feed Peter

Then have popcorn for dessert. Good summer days

(Lucy gets rats nest-it took tons of conditioner and combing it out in the tub to finely get it out)

Costa Vida Groupon and Rockies baseball

We LOVE free stuff or nearly free stuff:) We bought 3 groupons for Costa vida for $15 total and got $60 of food. YUM! We forgot we had them, and they expire soon, so we 'had' to use them up fast:)-We still prefer Cafe Rio, and Cafe Rio has free kid food

1st groupon my friend Kristen and I went. I ate the yummiest sweet pork nachos.
2nd groupon we were able to get food for our neighbors who just had a baby
and 3rd groupon we went out as a family today. Peter and Lucy loved it!!! Peter ate so much guesadilla, beans and rice and tres leche cake. Lucy probably ate half of that and drank TONS of Lemonade. Evan had a yummy smothered burrito and I had nachos:)






We all went home and napped until we dropped the kids off and Evan and I went on a date to the Rockies. On the walk there we saw the AMTRAK Train boarding people for California. SO COOL!

Chocolate covered bacon and garlic fries-YUM!




Anyway, we love summertime:)

Family Night for the Biddulph clan

So we haven't been the best at Family night, but we are getting better.

We talked about how Jesus is our brother and that He loves us and we love him. The kids saw his picture on the wall and smiled and giggled(like usual when they see pics of Jesus)

We changed into swim suits and took off for a fun swimming trip. We sang primary songs on the way to the pool. It had been a little windy and rainy today so the pool was a little cool but we still had a blast! Lucy is such a super swimmer. She doesn't want us to hold onto her. So in her floaties and swimsuit tube thingy she takes off all by herself:) Peter got to play with arm floaties and a red lady bug floaty:) I wish I had taken pictures of that.


After we played tons in the big pool and baby pool we got out to dry off, of course I forgot clothes for Lucy to change into but that didn't matter because she didn't even want the towel, she just wanted to run naked.-we did find a shirt of Peter's in the car for her:)

We stopped at Yogurtland for Family Night treats.
Lucy ate her's in the car, we finished at home:)










Lucy liked her's too much that she needed every last drop!







Then bath time and then BED:)
YAY! Success! We had a great family night:)

where did my blog go?

my blog

Family photo July 2011

We went up to see my niece get married last week and my brother caught a fun picture of our family, I LOVE it!!!


Evan 31
Hilary 30
Lucy 2
Peter 1
July 9, 2011

Dr. Suess was wise!!!

I LOVE this quote! It should have been my motto long ago!

‎"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss

Lucy's Birthday...Finally(April 19, 2011)

Lucy turned 2 on April 19. Yes, It is July and I am finally blogging about it:) I have several posts I am behind on, and for journaling sake I want to catch up, so here I go:)

That week was crazy for medical stuff for Peter, but we still managed to have lots of fun with Lucy. She did turn 2 afterall:)

So after Peter and I came home to nap after his sleep study, we woke up, showered and started up north to share cupcakes with Lucy's cousins in Westminster. We had lots of fun to choose cupcakes from Target. Then we shopped at Costco and picked up a new blender(our's broke)-we will pretend it was a birthday present for Lucy if she ever asks:)


Then we went to celebrate and eat at BJ's Restaurant. YUM! That was my 3rd or 4th time and I still love it! We had lots of yummy food, starting with avocado egg rolls, Evan had a yummy loaded baked potato and sides, I had a YUMMY chinese chicken salad, Lucy and Peter shared a grilled cheese Sandwich and smiley face fries. Then we also ordered Lucy creamy avocado and chopped avocados, her FAVORITE, her own food group!!!




Lucy LOVED her free hot cookie and ice cream-and part of a candle:)



We got home and heard singing messages from Grandma Liz and Grandpa Steve and loved the card they sent(my mom makes her own cards and sells them).


Then we were able to gmail video chat with Grandma Betty and Grandpa Romney. They sand to her, watched her blow out her candle and not want to eat cake. Lucy is very particular about the sweets she eats. Definitely good on her part:) She opened our non-wrapped gift- a musical dog! Lucy still loves it, and doesn't want to part from it:)


It was a great day. She does so much and is turning into more of a little angel. She brightens our lives and makes us feel so blessed on a daily basis, even when she tests our patience:)

Lucy Loves to Love on Peter. She says his name so cutely! She cuddles him, tickles him, kisses and hugs on him. She pets his head and plays with his hair.

She loves playing with her baby dolls and feeding them bottles and kissing them.

Lucy loves getting up on her chair and eating food. Sometimes when she is hungry I find her waiting at the table for food:) She does not like sitting on a booster seat.

Lucy loves getting in the car and going places. When we play outside sometimes she will go wait next to her door for me to open it, so we take lots of quick trips around the block:)

Lucy loves the outside!!!! If she could bath, sleep, eat, play, work, everything outside, she would be a happy camper.

She hops, jumps, and runs everywhere! She holds her hands in the air sometimes while traveling across the house:)

She laughs ALL the time, less crying lately, that is a plus.

She has figured out how to open her door by sitting next to the door, sticks her fingers under the door, jiggles it 2-3 times and pops the door open. BRILLIANT

Jumping and hopping down the stairs makes us nervous but she loves doing it! Today at nursery I was told she climbs up on everything and jumps off, makes them very nervous!

Lucy has so much good about her, for now we are just loving and enjoying her. One day we will get to fill her in on how crazy, beautiful, funny, smart, loving and inventive she is.


I can't get enough of her. Sometimes I just want to wake her up so we can play:)