Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Like you are running in the race of life, but somehow you are running backwards or slower than everyone, but know that you have to pick up the pace if you are going to meet your mile marker goals. I do a lot-or have been lately. After talking to Amy today, I was telling her about some things that worry or concern me. It was good to vent, talk things through and get other perspective.
All of my life I have been in control. I was student council vice president, student council president, I was the instructor, manager, etc in almost every job I have ever had. I know what I want, I know how to get it, I know that when I set my mind to it I can accomplish it.
Over the last couple years life has changed. I got married, I had two babies, I don't work anymore, I don't have a mainstream calling in church. In one of my theraputic recreation classes in college we had a lesson on a paradime shift. We learned about the quartz watch and because the Swiss couldn't shift paradigms, the Japanese made all the money off of the watch because they didn't have a locked in paradigm of how things needed to be. I am now having to make a paradigm shift of how to live my life, and probably will have to do this many more times in my life.
I am no longer single, able to do things at the drop of a dime. I share a bank account, calendar based on a 4 person family, bed time is different, chore schedule, etc.
I LOVE being a wife. I LOVE being a mom. I LOVE being a new kind of me.
But now with all my new titles and responsibilities I need to know that I did a great job living the old chapters of my life, but those ways, strategies etc are not what os needed or conducive to living in my new chapters of life, although I can bring all my experiences, know-how, etc to make my new experiences great.
It has been really hard thinking that I wouldn't ever get to go back to my college and single days where I felt so successful. But I have realized that I need to move forward so that my family is not left behind, after-all this is my most important job thus far.
I am goal planning by myself and with Evan. Financially, Spiritually, Physically, Emotionally, etc. And I have learned through prayer and listening to the Holy Ghost that I am capable of being extremely happy and successful as I have been in the past. I just need to do things LITTLE BY LITTLE. Step by Step. I keep wanting everything RIGHT NOW. But losing 80 lbs by tomorrow isn't realistic, but maybe over a year or two's time it is. And having a HUGE savings account is possible, but not all this month-maybe $5 at a time. That I can have an organized and fully setup menu system, garden, food storage, but by learning new concepts and adding to it LITTLE BY LITTLE.
I love who I am. I love who I was. I LOVE who I want to be, so I just need to keep working and progressing little by little. That's what this life is about right. Learn as much as we can to take with us to our next life.
My goal. Work little by little this year. Become a stronger more confident woman. Become more of who my Father in Heaven wants to me to be so that I can help raise a family in His name, and give back to all of those around me who have helped me or those in need. I know I have been blessed greatly by friends!!
Anyway. Thank you all who have shared great ideas and tips to leading a great life. While at times I have felt overwhelmed that there was SO much to learn and I didn't feel like I could ever learn it all, I think I can now, but slowly, and in my time, not compared to anyone else.
I love goal setting. Now I get to pray more daily to have the Holy Ghost with me to help motivate me and help me from getting discouraged.
