My sister sent this quote to me, I love it and I've needed it! “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.” ― José N. Harris, MI VIDA
She told this to me months ago, and it has been resurfacing in my mind over and over since then.
The last year or two have been challenging for me. A good friend of mine and her family were hurt and betrayed and have gone through more trials than anyone would ever want in a year. The people that have hurt them continue to live their lives and their choices continue to hurt or haunt the people I love. It doesn't seem fair, there seems no way to stop it, and I just wish I could take away their pain and stop the hurt, but I don't have that power. It is the Lord who will do that. And it's taken me too long to learn that.
Even though this is not my trial, it has affected me more than I'd like to admit. I have felt feelings of anger, disappointment, disgust, betrayal, sadness, guilt, and many others. I don't like having ill feelings towards people, but for some reason I couldn't shake this. Every time I would feel guilty, thinking, I'm not the type of person that let's things like this get to me. This was not normal Hilary thoughts and feelings. I should just let it go, but then something else would happen and it would get to me all over again. Anyway, through prayer and talking to my sister and mom and knowing that the atonement is real, I know that I can move on from the hurt that was caused and be who I need to be. That is why I like the quote. “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”
I tried making amends with parties involved, but I was brushed aside and the hurt continues to happen. So what are my choices? The only choice I see is to follow what the quote says, and walk away from them and the drama caused. I need to start living my life a little better, striving for more happiness, a closer relationship to my Heavenly Father and keeping my priorities straight. I think Satan wants me to dwell in the drama and be brought down, but I'm not letting it. With time things heal, and I think that with time I have learned that I need to use the atonement in my life to help me stay happy, repent, move on etc. I need to not let other's mistakes affect me so much. I am a bystander, nothing else.
I guess I've learned that while Jesus suffered all the pains of the world, we have the atonement and I am not meant to suffer for others sins or mistakes. But I can learn to stay closer to the Lord and become more of who I need to become. Instead of shutting down for another year, I need to grow and be the person I need to be. I feel badly for the parties involved, I wish them the best, I pray for them, I hope at some point we can sit in the same room and smile at each other, but for now. I am shifting priorities-to important ones that will help me reach my eternal goals.
I know blogs are supposed to be happy and cheery, but this is one I think I will need to read and look back on, to see where I was and see my progress along the way. I want to show that everything doesn't have to be perfect and we can learn from our mistakes. I want my children to know the trials I have been through. I want to show that by surrounding yourself with people who uplift and make you happy that you can have a happier life. I want a happier life, and I want to teach my children how to do that.
A few things that I am going to gear up for making my New Years Resolutions.
Attend the temple more frequently
Reading Scriptures more diligently and with purpose
Being more fervent in my prayers
Making my children, Husband and self my top priorities
Eating and exercising better
Better relationships with my siblings
Lesson learned, don't take on other's drama and sadness, be there for them, pray for them etc. Know that the Lord is in their lives looking over them. Surround with friends and loved ones that uplift etc. Life is good, it's short, there are so many things to learn and experience. Stop wasting life on drama, sadness etc. Be happy, count blessings and be a blessing for others without becoming a crutch or punching bag.
I love my family! I'm grateful to be a mom and wife and friend. I'm grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ in my life. I a grateful for repentance and forgiveness. I'm grateful for today and tomorrow and the days I have to become better. I'm grateful to have the Holy Ghost as my guide and need to be more worthy of His comfort.
I have to say that I am much happier that I have been in this aspect of my life. The last year was a long one emotionally, thankfully I have a great husband who has stuck by me during tears, sadness or any other emotion and has supported me. I needed it. He makes me better. I need his patience and love in my life.
And of course a song that has helped me in my life throughout, and I know some people don't like David Archuleta, but here is his version I found on youtube that I liked.
Be Still My Soul sang by David Archuleta