I was cleaning out my email drafts, and came across this letter to Lucy. We had tried for a long time to get pregnant and finally a little miracle.
October 1st, 2008
I have wanted you my whole life. When dad and I got married we didn't know when we would start our family, but when we decided to try, it was difficult for us. I have PCOS, which means I have cysts on my ovaries and complicates things for me in that department. We started working with a fertility specialist and were given some great advice.
We were told to have me try to lose some extra weight, and to cut stress out of my life. I quit my job and tried losing weight, but that was very difficult for me. I still had stress in my life, but it has been decreasing as the time goes on.
I started taking Chlomid to help me ovulate, and on the third month of that medication, we went in for insemination on August 6th, we became pregnant a few days later, but did not find out for a while.
I wanted you so bad, and a week or so before my birthday I started having lots of gas and heartburn. I normally didn't feel that way, so I thought I was pregnant. I called the dr and asked if I could test early because I just knew that I was pregnant by how I was feeling. I had taken many many many pregnancy tests since the month I got married, but on this special Tuesday morning, August 19th, I peed on a stick, while dad was showering, and to my amazement, it read positive. Dad wanted to be told in a cute or surprising way whenever we found out, but I couldn't hold it in. I asked him that if I wanted to tell him something, if I could do it in a different and sooner way, and he said yes. I started crying as I showed him the test. He started crying and we were both in shock. It was such a great day! I was so elated, that I had to call everyone! There was no holding this news to myself.
Since then you have been a little pill. Just kidding. I have definitely felt the pregnancy symptoms. I have thrown up in the Target parking lot and the Cannery now, and the rest has been at home. Before we knew we were pregnant, I HAD TO HAVE mexican food. Dad just laughs at me:) You sometimes keep me up at night, and Dad and I got to see you dancing inside of me and you waved at us. Dad thought it was to him:) People ask me what I want, a boy or girl, but I don't have a preference. Some days I feel like you are a little boy, and other days I see all the cute girl clothes and wonder what that would be like. I am heavier than I should be so I am trying to eat well for you, so you can grow healthy and strong. I am also trying to exercise more, but that is going slowly..we shall see. Tonight dad said he thinks we should start walking around the temple. That would be nice.
I have been selfish and wanted to be the only pregnant lady around, but I realize that you are one of many coming to this earth to receive a body and to fulfill your mission that the Lord has given you.
You are such a wonderful gift to me and your father, and we hope that you will always know how much we want and love you! We are trying to be good people so that we can be good parents and provide a great home for you and your brothers and sisters yet to come. Please be patient with us. We can be very funny and do great things, but we are still working on our weaknesses.
We love you and I will try to keep writing to you so that you know you were on your first 9 months with mom, like how you make my stomach growl every couple hours and I NEED to eat.
I got mad at a baseball game and was a little too vocal about it. A Lady was smoking, making me feel sick, and it was not safe for you. I hsould have been more Christlike and not said anything. I am trying.
Dad does the dishes now, because the smell of dishes and garbage make me vomit..your father is a great man. Very special, as I am sure you will be too.
PS..I went to the ER the other night. It was 2am and my right side went numb and then tingly and then in lots of pain. We went and got checked out, and they didn't find anything wrong. So hopefully I can learn to lay better in the bed. They said that since I was laying on my back, it pinched some nerves or something...I am doing fine now though.